A needle of Hope
amid a haystack of Chaos.

More Lesbian than Male Heterosexual :o

Created: Friday, July 1st, 2005
17:22:50 CDT
Last modified: Friday, July 1st, 2005
16:22:50 CDT

Yesterday I took 1/2 a day off work, attended to some legal matters, took my first new piano lesson in over 8 years, and took a comprehensive gender identity battery of tests given to me by my psychologist (who I last saw in February).

Today he called me up with the results. The over—all prognostication was expected, the degree of certainty wasn't.

I've told people for years that I just don't *get* heterosexual relationships. Nothing has come naturally, I have zero instincts, and three out of five women I have done more than hug — and all the women I have ever dated more than three times — were 'confused' lesbians who discovered their lesbianism after dating me. I've always felt more feminine than masculine, and, in any case, I was 100% correct.

The tests are based on a logarithm scale, —10 being 100% feminine 0% masculine, +10 being 100% masculine and 0% feminine. The tests are designed so that 75% of men score a +5 and 75% of women score a —5. It was a wide range of tasks and questions and the error precentage is just 2% and the test has been validated by over 150,000 participants.

I rank scarely at —3.5, meaning that I am roughly 2 times more likely to act like a woman than a man in any given situation; if it were not for my technical knowledge, inquisitiveness, and decisive actions I would be almost 100% woman.

According to my psychologist, the test I took is one of the main pieces of evidence most psychologists use to judge whether a person would benefit psychologically from a sex change. The threshold needed to qualify in most psych's opinions? +/— 2 on any givne scale combined with a general lack of intimate relationships over itme. Thus, apparently, I am fully qualified to have a sex change, and in fact, as my psychologist pointed out, I've already technically had one on the Internet: Changing frmo the very masculine "Un—Thesis" to the feminine "HopeSeekr | hope" duality since 1 January 2004.

So, I guess what it all comes down to is that I helped Crefn discover her lesbianism at the same time she helped me realize I was, in fact, a lesbian, which is really weird. It just sucks that there are probably vanishingly few bisexual women who like a man's body with a woman's mind :—/

Time spent composing this document: 16 minutes minutes.