A needle of Hope
amid a haystack of Chaos.

Are You Asleep?

Created: Thursday, June 16th, 2005
20:39:41 UTC
Last modified: Thursday, June 16th, 2005
20:59:41 UTC

Most people struggle with an awake body and asleep mind. I have an awake ( I think) mind and constantly fight a body that would shutdown w/o expensive-ass medicine. My greatest gift + struggle all in one huge gordian knot.

At least mine has a daily elixir, albeit an extremely expensive (for no reason) one. I increasingly fear that people "require jolts to get them out of their apathy" (quote from 'batman begins') and this saddens me :-/ Until we can be compassionate w/o having to suffer we will doom ourselves to destruction, or at least technologically-induced slavery.

Until 2005 I was all for whatever it took to get the Earth back on track (e.g. a sustainable human culture) but now I realize that my own life depends upon *advanced* manufacturing and science that should society get even a little destabilized i'll probably be dead w/n 10 years and have a horribly degraded life until then. This has given me unbelievable focus over the last 9 months and I am seeking to be as self-efficient as possible (make my own energy, food and water) and eventually maybe i'll be able to culture the bacteria that produc the growth hormones I need...or find a sympathetic farmer (it's the same stuff only for pennies on the dollar).

It also makes me marvel at how insanely intertwined one can make one's mind be with one's body. This is not necessarily the case. There are *many* reports of people living ordinary lives, even some geniuses, who when they have their autopsies it is revealed they only had 1/2 or even 1/4th the brain of an average person. Other people with fully functional brains voted for Bush in 2004 and then sent their sons to Iraq.

In the short-term I have divested my attention research away from remote viewing (which I had considerable success with) and telepathy (also success) to manifestation. If I can manifest the 7/8ths of the growth hormones I need I will be much better off. It's sort of like stigmatists who can lose 7 pints of blood in quick succession and then 7 pints the next (impossible). Once I can regulate my own body I'd try to manifest food like the Rajas of India. STart my own non-profit food clinic for the homeless of Houston.

Time spent composing this document: 10 minutes.