A needle of Hope
amid a haystack of Chaos.

156.57 days of Hope — Blaire's Confirmation

Created: Sunday, April 24th, 2005
23:55:24 UTC
Last modified: Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
13:15:24 UTC

156.57 days, or 5 months, 6 days 13 hours 40 minutes

Early this morning I was witness to my niece's confirmation into the Methodist Church. It was the first "real" church service I had attended since largely giving up my Mormon affiliation after their dogged support for the Iraq Domination and out-right endorsement of President Bush (How can "propets" of God support such a cabal?!)

It was the first church I had been in since I covertly attended the Jerry Farwell "Moral Majority" hatefest at a local baptist church, which drew crowds of several thousand to learn how to "convert your homosexual children!" AND THE TEXAS STATE PARLIMENT JUST DENIED HOMOSEXUALS THE RIGHT TO ADOPT BECAUSE THEY MIGHT "CONVERT" CHILDREN TO HOMOSEXUALITY!! GAJH!!!! Bigotted hypocrity in the name of G-d really gets me steamed! More on this in the future as it was quite fun and I almost got arrested again for supporting a good cause :-)

This pastor moved me with his sermon...something that hasn't happened to me since I apostasized in highschool. He was saying that he was asked by a parent to try to "motivate" the 6th graders to be good Christians. He proceeds to say how "motivation" is what Satan did when he "motivated" Eve to eat the apple...He then Burst into a COMPLETE treatise on American culture and Globalism and how Paul and Jesus would be "called losers" by every one in that building except real Christians; and this guy then said, "And let's face it, very few people even in here would respect Jesus if he were your next door neighbor. No, some of us would be contacting the home owners association reporting that he is running a "business" because of all the scrungy, diseased, and poor people milling about!"

He proceeded to say how American culture is inimical to true Christianity and that in order to be a Good Christian one must put others ahead of themselves, and how would you know if you were successful? Because you would be hurt far more than helped by others. He continued, "Finding true love later will require you to find the person who would hurt for you, only you, because for them to see you suffer and do nothing would be far worse than any thing that could possibly happen to them." I was *so* moved by this as this is EXACTLY how I have and continue to feel towards one person in particular!

He finished his sermon by saying, "There is NOTHING in our culture today that motivates you to be a good Christian, in fact virtually every aspect demotivates." I would personally add my own message: You must be willing to suffer, to turn to the other cheek, to be riddiculed, harrassed, spit upon and still look to those very people whom you intrust the keys of your heart to and say, 'No matter what you ever do to me, no matter how you can possibly betray me, I — like Christ Jesus — love you for who you are — not what you can do for me — for what you think, not how you look; for how you act, not how you dress; for what you dream of accomplishing, not what you want to own.

I kept thinking during this time, "Wow, I really do have Christ's type of love for one person! Yet I am a self-avowed anti-Christian ... meaning while I do believe in the God[dess] Power intimately involved in my life I totally *know* that Christianity as an institution is hopelessly corrupt and a bedfellow of millennium-old lies. So, I talked to him in my imagination about my paradox. His response *shocked* me:

Young man, you have it backwards. Christianity is not an end, it is a means to an end. If you really are ethical and virtuous and have the love of Christ for all humanity all ready, you are in the upper crust of the moral minority. Religion is a single, isolated stepping stone, the first or second oen for most people, and many never even bother to lift their eyes and see the many flights of stares before them. God gives us clear direction: First comes belief, then comes conviction, then empathy, compassion, charity, suffering, acceptance, fullfilment and finally Enlightment through Fire. Those are the first flight of stairs of a true relationship with the Heavenly Father. I cannot tell you how far you are on your journey, but my soul of souls tells me you are at least on the second. I realize living this life is difficult and that at many times — just like Jesus — you must question why it is worth continually beaten down but just remember: What happens to you happens to us all and whatever you do for another you do for yourself.
In the end, our only mission is to make the world a better place for others so that the Universe can continue on its unknowable mission in the service of God.

Today was a very positive day :-)

Here's a high-quality pic of that day:
Hugh (brother), Barbara (mother), Blair (niece) and myself :-)
Blair Howerton